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(203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
(919): What are we going to do tonight?
(704): What we do every night. Take over the world.
(479): Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
(1-749): How have you survived this long?
(479): Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
(770): All I remember is saying "fire will make it all better".
(814): i already hear my dad disowning me
(305): false alarm. still invincible.
(215): Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
(630): I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
(264): I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
(757): where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
(239): Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
(801): Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
(630): If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
(779): I smell like gasoline and adventure.
(509): Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
(716): it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
(305): Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
(801): My underwear smells like fireworks.
(602): JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
(+44): You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
(+44): Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
(724): I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
(253): Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
(253): I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
(310):
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
(912):
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
(248):
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=741
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=739
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=733
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=730
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=729
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=727
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=724
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=722
(919): What are we going to do tonight?
(704): What we do every night. Take over the world.
(479): Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
(1-749): How have you survived this long?
(479): Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
(770): All I remember is saying "fire will make it all better".
(814): i already hear my dad disowning me
(305): false alarm. still invincible.
(215): Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
(630): I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
(264): I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
(757): where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
(239): Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
(801): Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
(630): If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
(779): I smell like gasoline and adventure.
(509): Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
(716): it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
(305): Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
(801): My underwear smells like fireworks.
(602): JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
(+44): You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
(+44): Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
(724): I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
(253): Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
(253): I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
(310):
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
(912):
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
(248):
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=741
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=739
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=733
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=730
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=729
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=727
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=724
http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=722
